Hello there Trixie La Dixie.
This is the president of Dr. Snot's Sex Ed Refresher Courses,
Frootie. Your payment to Dr. Snot's Sex Ed Refresher Courses was received,
and from your nice little payment of elevendy-seven dollars and twenty-thirty
cents, we shall build a new auditorium, in which we can have meetings. Also,
we shall build another asylum as another dorm for the students living on
campus. We have hired a few new teachers, I'm sure you'll recognize them. I
shall show you a map of the entire school, hopefully you'll be able to find
your way, we have remodeled while you were away on that conference trip to
Glorious Guatemala trying to get us that contract with Lemon Lovers
Anonymous. Thank you very much for that, we appreciate it. And we have
dedicated this week's 'Naked Wednesday' to you, we realized that 'Naked
Thursday' would just not work out on your schedule. We have finally gotten
the students to stop putting fur coats on the naked gerbils, its just wrong
to see that. After that small storm that stole the cloths right off our back,
we finally got the power back up in the mess hall. We got twenty-three new
students up now, all male. We need a person to show them the human physics of
Dr. Snot's Sex Ed Refresher Courses, and we decided you were the best person
to do that. We know you'll be back to work tomorrow, so you can start working
on them right away. If I were you, I would warm up with the sensual massage
to get them in the learning mood, and then go right to the oral exams, to
check up on where they are in their courses. Then go ahead and take them to
Strip-n-screwer's class so they can take notes with the visual aids. At noon,
they can have a popsicle for lunch, and then head them to the auditorium for
our first group meeting with Lemon Lovers Anonymous. We have assigned you
president to that organization, and we're proud to have you on our team
again. I hope you picked up a couple bottles of Herbal Essences shampoo, you
know that the students need a total organic experience.
Thank you for understanding, yours truly,

Har har, so, how did you like my little professional email. By the
way, we expect you back on full schedule by Monday. If not, we'll have to
spank you. I'm working full time to write up a new theme song for Dr. Snot's
SERC...and I'm actually working on drawing the mascot right now. You know who
it is, the ape. I shall call him, Hopclaw. since its the first letter of the
first few words in his entire title. Its a nice name for an ape. I think
he'll like it. But yes, I ought to get going now. Darth Father has requested
my presence at the breaking of the door, and also at the nailing of the
boards. For once in my life, I finally get to realize my true meaning. Soon,
soon...I shall turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then I'll put
that flea in a box. Then I'll put that box inside another box. Then I'll mail
that box to myself, and when it arrives...


But yes, I must be going now. The roots of my culture call on me.
Besides, I have to pull aspargeegus from our lawn. Its been over weeding the
port-a-potties. And then, time to bathe the guinea pig...and blow dry
him...and then give him a new, loving home with the Spam shiners. And soon,
soon my dream will be realized! I can finally eat magon! the other other
other white meat! And even better is my dear mama's delightfully seasoned
sporky speefy pro-magon! oh...so yummy...I'm drooling as we speak. I have
always wanted to eat random early-man body parts...seasoned slightly with red
pepper and garlic...it can make a delightful part of a salad. But now, I must
go and dream of my strange early-man body parts as I clean out the really
dirty fat fish Mr. Bigglesworth...and then, I can go swing for several hours,
while hoping that lightening does not strike down on me. And so, as parting
words, I must say that I give credence that in all the competence of the
anthropocentric generation, it would be conceivable for us to solidly drudge
concurrently to exterminate the abhorrent existence and exacerbating
idiosyncrasy in this terrestrial sphere. You are the weakest link, goodbye.
Your dearest little luster for monkey fur covered blood sucking
seasoned sporky speefy pro-magon!
AKA... Frootie. >D