Author's Note: Hello peeps. Ok, this is another *goofy-DBZ-alternate-world* fanfic! This
one focuses on Vegita, and of course, his little adventures!
Warning: Stupid...Plotless...Silliness ahead
Disclaimer: These characters do not, I repeat, do NOT belong to me ((if they did I'd be
rich now, wouldn't I?))! Don't sue! I have no money! I have NOTHING you want! Don't sue!
Vegita was furious. Out of all the stupid things people have asked me to do in my entire
life…this is the stupidest…Vegita thought bitterly. How could Bulma force the mighty
Prince of Saiyans to take ballet classes with Bra? This was beyond stupid…this was beyond
"NO!" Vegita turned his back to Bulma and refused to look at her. Bulma scowled and
wrapped an arm around Vegita's waist.
"You're never coming back in the bed Vegita…do you hear me?" Bulma cried. Vegita spun
around and glared at her. He had taken Bra on a field trip a couple months ago…he barely
got out alive.
"NO!" Vegita yelled.
"Oh but why? It'll break Bra's heart…how could you Vegita? To watch your daughter sit at
home and cry…while other kids her age would be playing with each other…" Bulma whined,
knowing the only way to Vegita's heart is either with food, or with Bra's whining.
"I will NOT…I repeat…NOT go to some stupid ballet class and proceed to dance some stupid
spinning riverdance thing! NOT NOW AND NOT EVER!"
Vegita roared. He turned and walked out of the room, ending the conversation once and for
At the ballet school…
Vegita wondered how he had gotten into the stupid school. He made a mental note to kill
the author when the whole story was over. Bra happily skipped up to her father. She smiled
and twirled around in her light pink and purple outfit. Vegita looked her up and down,
noting the glitter and fake fairy wings glued onto his daughter's back. He sighed as he
watched Bra twirl around, giggling with glee.
Vegita froze when he recognized the familiar footsteps of his number one enemy. Vegita
glanced down at Bra. She wasn't there.
"Vegita! Buddy! Pal! Best friend!" Goku's booming voice filled the room. Vegita heard the
chandelier shake. He turned around and glared at Goku.
Goku grinned and slapped Vegita on the back.
"KAKAROTT!" Vegita screamed. Goku, unfortunately, didn't notice how red Vegita was turning.
Bra skipped over with Pan tagging along behind her.
"Otousan! Let's go!" Bra tugged on her father's sleeve. Vegita glared at her. Bra looked
up, she gave a fake sniffle. Vegita sighed and followed Bra and Pan into a room, with Goku
trailing along behind.
A young lady came up behind Vegita. She gave a toothy smile and hugged Vegita affectionately.
Vegita pushed her away warily. After the time he was molested by a group of single mothers,
Vegita made sure to keep well away from young women, and men alike. The woman didn't say
a word and proceeded to hug Bra, Pan, and Goku, who was still grinning like an idiot.
"Konnichi-wa! I'm Ms. Wilkins, the ballet teacher at this school!" The woman grinned and
tiptoed out of the room, motioning for everyone to follow.
Vegita growled and followed the group, his arms were crossed in front of his chest, as a
mighty Prince should walk.
Ms. Wilkins smiled and held up two, extra large outfits. Both were light pink and purple,
and shimmering with sparkles. They had a lacy trim and a fluffy tutu attached. It was
almost exactly like Bra's and Pan's, except without the wings.
Vegita's eyes went wide. He stared at Ms. Wilkins, then glared at the suits. He shook his
head quickly. Goku, on the other hand, was grinning like crazy and looking at the outfits
with a curious glint in his eye. That signaled danger for Vegita.
"What the hell do you want us to do?" Vegita asked gruffly.
"Put these on, and we'll begin the exercises and warm-ups!" the lady handed Vegita and
Goku each of the suits, and walked away. Vegita dropped the outfit and crossed his arms.
"Otousan…doozo?" Bra looked up at her father, her lips quivered.
"NO! I WOULDN'T PUT THAT THING ON IF MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!" Vegita screamed.
After much complaining…
Vegita stepped out of the changing room wearing pink tights and a pink body suit, with a
fluffy tutu. Vegita growled warningly. Vegita glanced at Goku, who was having a great time
stretching and dancing around in his pink outfit. Vegita slapped his forehead.
"Remind me to kill the author when I get out of this Kakarott." Vegita grumbled. Goku
squealed happily and spun around in a little circle. He tripped and fell over, ending up
sitting in a heap on the floor, still grinning stupidly.
Vegita looked at himself in the full-length mirror. He smirked. Turning around several
times, Vegita looked himself up and down again.
"I look good…err…I mean…god this suit is gay!" Vegita blushed red and ignored the stares
of his companions. He joined the rest of the group in front of the teacher.
Ms. Wilkins suddenly shrieked. She glared at Vegita and pointed at his feet. Vegita looked
down to notice he was the only one barefoot.
"Hai…" Vegita looked around nervously. Everyone was looking at him as if he was some kind
of no-legged, no-winged, boneless, chubby, juicy, cooked medium rare...errr...duck sitting
in the middle of a pack of wolves.
"You aren't wearing your booties!" Ms. Wilkins pointed at Vegita's feet. Vegita scowled.
"They didn't fit! I mean…I'm not wearing no gay ass booties!" Vegita commented roughly.
"Put your booties on! You will NEVER become a good ballet student until you wear your
booties!" Ms. Wilkins replied. Vegita shook his head.
"I'm NOT wearing booties! NEVER! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Vegita yelled.
After a couple hours of struggling…
Vegita walked out to join the group, this time wearing little booties. He winced and
stepped lightly. The booties were cutting off his circulation.
"The author is getting on my nerves…" he mumbled under his breath. He sighed and shook his
head in disbelief. He glared at Goku, who was quickly becoming the teacher's pet. Grinning
from ear to ear, Goku did a perfect pirouette. Vegita scowled.
"Show off…" Vegita said quietly. Ms. Wilkins tiptoed over to Vegita.
"Now Vegita-san…you do a pirouette!" Ms. Wilkins smiled and tapped her foot on the floor.
Vegita's eyes went wide. He shook his head.
"No way." He replied.
"Now don't be afraid! Be a big boy and do a pirouette!" Ms. Wilkins encouraged Vegita some
more. Vegita got up on his toes, his feet were numb so it didn't matter. He sighed and did
a lousy, very bad pirouette.
"There, happy?" Vegita asked, ignoring the snickering and laughing of the people in the
rest of the room.
"Err…work on that for a little while…" Ms. Wilkins was turning red from embarrassment.
Vegita sat down in the corner of the room and ripped the booties off. He stared at his now
blue feet. He sighed.
"This bites…" he complained softly. Bra tiptoed over to her father.
"Otousan…we're done here…we can go to my next class now!" Bra smiled and hugged her father
tightly. Vegita's eyes went wide.
"What 'next' class?" he asked, curious.
"Okaasan didn't tell you? You have to take me to swimming class now!" Bra said, grinning.
Vegita almost screamed in terror.
"NO! I'm not taking you to some stupid swimming class!" Vegita cried, shaking his head
At swimming class…
Vegita growled and shook his clenched fist at the sky. Bra looked up at her father,
wondering what on earth he was doing.
"I'LL GET YOU YET! YOU CONFOUNDED AUTHOR YOU!" he screamed at the sky. Bra quirked a
curious eyebrow, and dragged her father into the large building.
Vegita looked around, he glanced at the swim coach, a muscular woman that was wearing a
red coaching outfit and a red baseball cap. She yelled at a couple kids harshly, then
smiled sweetly at Vegita, Bra, Pan, and Goku, who had decided to tag along after leaving
ballet class. Walking over to the small group, the coach shook hands with everyone.
"I'm Ms. Sisano, the swimming coach here." The woman said to Goku and Vegita. She smiled
and led the two men to the locker rooms.
Ms. Sisano grinned and held up a box. She smiled evilly and opened it. The air tingled and
the box seemingly glowed. She giggled insanely and held up two tiny Speedo swimsuits.
"Here you go boys! Get dressed and we'll go swimming!" Ms. Sisano walked out of the room,
cackling evilly all the way.
Vegita glanced at Goku, who was practicing his pirouettes on the wood benches. Vegita
sighed. He grabbed a super tiny speedo swimsuit and walked around the corner to change. It
was useless to resist the power of the author. He was lost in an alternate universe and he
might never find his way home.
Vegita walked out of the locker room wearing the speedo swimsuit he was given earlier.
Vegita turned red from embarrassment when he noticed how many people were staring. In one
way, he didn't mind, he thought he looked mighty good in his little swimsuit. Goku on the
other hand was still busy practicing his pirouettes in the locker room.
"Vegita-san, we need you to warm up, so if you will please jump in the water and wait by
that machine right there." Ms. Sisano pointed to a strange looking machine and pushed
Vegita in the water, no matter how much he protested.
"THIS IS DAMN COLD WATER!" Vegita's scream was heard all around the huge room. He sat in
the middle of the pool, shivering and trying to keep warm. Vegita's eyes went wide in
horror. His swimsuit was shrinking.
"Ok Vegita-san…and now for warm-ups." Ms. Sisano cackled insanely and pulled a lever on
the machine, releasing a hundred or so, bloodthirsty, hungry piranhas.
Vegita's jaw dropped and he swam for his life. Forgetting all about his powers to fly,
Vegita swam faster then any human in the known world. He swam for his dear, Princely life.
Vegita finally jumped up and grabbed onto the ceiling light. He watched as Ms. Sisano
pushed one of the swimmers in, thankfully not Pan or Bra, and watched as they were corner
by the meat-eating fish. Vegita turned away, so he wouldn't see the gruesome scene below.
Vegita wrapped a towel around his neck and dragged himself to Bra. He looked down at her,
noting she was perfectly dry and hadn't been in the water yet.
"We're going…NOW." Vegita yelled. Bra looked at her father. She shrugged.
"Ok…but I'm hungry…can we stop for something to eat?" Bra asked, following her father out
of the building.
"Definitely, I'm starving, what are we going to eat?" Vegita rubbed his stomach and
watched as Goku pirouetted out of the building with Pan skipping along beside him. Bra and
Vegita waited until Pan and Goku caught up to them, then settled down to discuss what they
were going to eat.
"Chinese food, definitely Chinese food." Pan declared.
"No way! Its pizza! It's always pizza!" Bra cried.
"I want a burger…" Goku said quietly, still practicing pirouettes, even though his feet
were blood raw by now.
"We're going to have milkshakes and that's the end of this conversation." Vegita said.
"Demo Otousan!" Bra started whining but was quickly shut up by glares from Pan and Goku,
who thought milkshakes were the best idea Vegita had since…err…nevermind.
A short while later…
People stared at Vegita while he drank the last of his 300th milkshake. Vegita smirked and
walked over to the stand that was serving milkshakes. He waved frantically in the man's
face and giggled like a little schoolgirl. Bra scooted over to her father warily. She
gently tapped his shoulder.
Vegita spun around and glared at Bra. She swallowed hard and looked back at her father,
noticing the crazy gleam in his eye. She took a step back.
"Otousan…we should go home now…" she said quietly. Vegita screamed in horror. He grabbed
the milkshake stand man and hugged him.
"NO! MY MILKSHAKES! THEY'RE ALL MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! ALL MINE AND NO ONE IS TAKING THEM!"
Vegita hugged them man until he turned blue and passed out. Bra's eyes went wide. She
slowly backed away.
Bra turned and ran to Goku, who was still doing pirouettes. She grabbed his arm and yanked
him toward Vegita.
"Otousan has gone crazy! Goku! Do something!" Bra wailed and tugged on Goku's arm some
"Yes Bra? Son Goku at your service. Working as a secret spy for the military and a popular
shopper at Chicks-R-Us." Goku replied to Bra's cry for help with the usual jabber. He
continued doing pirouettes like a wind up doll. Bra sighed.
"What now?" Bra looked around to find someone that could help her. Lucky for Bra, a
wildlife sanctuary was close by. Bra located it quickly and flew off, leaving Goku to do
his dancing, and Vegita to eat his milkshakes.
Bra touched down in front of the sanctuary. She ran inside and grabbed a gun. Loading it
with elephant tranquilizers, she grinned evilly and walked out. She was going to dart and
capture her father…even if it was the last thing she'd do. Which…it probably would be if
her father found out her little plan to bring peace to the world again.
Bra levitated and flew of to where she would find her father. It wasn't hard, you could
here the screaming and crying of the local civilians miles away.
Bra landed in front of her father. She glared at him, her elephant gun was armed and ready.
Vegita looked at her with a crazy gleam in his eye. Bra noted her father was foaming at
the mouth. Vegita got down on all fours and ran at Bra jabbering like a rabid penguin. Bra
took a step back and fired five darts at her father.
Vegita stopped in mid-leap and landed on the ground with a thud. Bra glanced at her father.
He was lying on the ground, twitching like a road kill cat. She poked him with the tip of
her gun. Vegita grabbed the gun and bit it, breaking a tooth, but causing a nice cozy dent
in the gun. Bra jumped back and fired a couple more darts at her father.
Vegita rolled along the ground. He was still foaming at the mouth and hollering like a
rabid animal, but now he was pretty much harmless and just…rolling. Bra sighed. Her day
had been quite interesting, goofy and weird, but interesting. She tied a rope around her
father's neck and led him home. He was still crawling around on all fours when she dragged
him to the front step of Capsule Corp.
Vegita sat in the corner with his lollipop. He looked around, his eyes darted around the
room like a glazed maniac. Then again…from what had happened a while earlier, he would be
a maniac. Bulma walked in the room with a bag at her side. She reached in the bag, and took
out a sugar cube. Tossing it to Vegita, she shook her head in sorrow.
"I'm never letting him out of this house again…" Bulma sighed and rubbed Vegita's stomach.
Vegita barked and wiggled around some. His poor princely life had been scarred by the
human's cruel world. He would now be living the rest of his days as a happy little puppy
dog, content on living off of beer and sugar cubes alone. Of course…people ask what went
wrong with the man who was known as the smartest Saiyan alive. Bulma would explain that
the nerves in his brain went wrong…and somehow he ended up as the new guard dog for
So I leave this goofy tale up to you to understand. Though I don't understand it myself…
and I'm the author…which…is bad. Anyway…our Prince still lives in Capsule Corp.…though he
spends most of his time chewing shoes and lounging around on the couch. Maybe he's still
himself...anyway...He was a feared killer, tamed by a mere human, put to the tasks of
normal Earthlings, and finally reached the brink of insanity and ended up becoming a man-
like dog. So…this goofy tale comes to its end…so I bid you farewell…
Usual Jabber: No Shame. No Mercy. No Plot. No Point. No Sequel. That was a goofy, pointless
story…err…and I have no clue why I wrote it other then to let my insanity out on paper.
Don't ask...I was probably...just...feeling silly and I had to take my goofiness out on
poor Vegita...oh well! You know...I have been told that I am insane...not like I deny it
or anything...Err...I am not responsible for your actions...errr...and I'll just...be
going now...bye now!